In the spirit of examinations, it is worthwhile to note that there are examinations that we have to sit for in the school of life. In this school, everyone is a learner. By virtue of birth everyone is enrolled in the school of life. The earth is a colossal examination hall. In this hall everyone gets tested. It does not matter whether you are tall, skeletal, chubby, black, white, dark, yellow-boned, educated, illiterate, poor, wealthy, healthy, ill, adult, young, thug or innocent. Everyone gets examined.
We get examined so that we can learn to appreciate life-lest we take it for granted. We get examined so that we can appreciate the complexities and paradoxes of life. No-one is exempted from these examinations. For instance, some people do not want to study because they are discouraged by ever-growing graduate unemployment.
However, as much as it is factual that millions of graduates are not employed, it is equally factual that education improves your chances of employment. Some single people have decided to remain unmarried because of the ever-increasing levels of divorce. It is a fact, divorce is on the increase.
However, a number of studies on marriage have indicated that marriage plays a critical role in a person’s life. Such studies have suggested that married people tend to be happy and live longer than single people. At the same time, we all know that some marriages are a place for abuse and violence. What would you chose? Being married can be challenging. Being single can equally be challenging.
There are parents who wish they had never conceived and given birth to their children. There are married people who cannot have children due to medical reasons. On the one end, some parents ‘regret’ why they gave birth-it is a test. Some people who own houses and cars complain about levies, rates, petrol, car service and interest rate whereas some who do not own these assets complain about their living in shacks, walking to work or using Metrorail.
Those who own cars and house are subjected to their own tests. Equally, those who do not have cars and house have their own tests. Everyone is tested. Those who are studying will have to come across failure. And those who are not studying will experience their share of tests.
Some women feel it would have been better if they were men. Some men feel it would have been better if they were women. All genders have their fair share of tests. These are paradoxes and complexities of life without which life would not be worth living.
How to respond to life examinations
To be frank, there is no universal way of responding to the tests of life. There is no ‘scope’ that I can give to you. I guess if we knew that life would be difficult we would have decided to remain in the womb. The tests of life start from the womb to the tomb. There is no escape. But I need to respond to the ‘how to’ question. Suffice it to say that what I am presenting here is partly based on my personal philosophy and general observation. Below are some of my suggestions:
- Acknowledge and appreciate that tests are part of this life
That is the way it is-life has tests. We need to acknowledge and embrace our tests. Do you ever asked yourself the ‘why me’ question? Sure you did. This is one of those questions whose answers are never known. Tests come to you because you are in the school of life. But, ‘why not me’? You are the right person to be going through the examination period. Imagine a situation wherein everybody on earth would ask the same question at the same time. It would not be possible to live without tests. Who wants to fail? Whose child must be addicted to nyaope? Whose marriage must end in divorce? Who deserves to be retrenched? Whose car must be stolen? Whose house must be broken into? Who deserves to be hijacked? I know these questions may sound somewhat insensitive but these are the modules and papers we sit for in this massive examination hall. We can take comfort in that there are invaluable lessons we learn from these tests.
- Develop a personal life philosophy
To a large extent, how you respond to the tests of life is a function of your deep-seated beliefs and assumptions. It is important to develop a life philosophy that can scaffold you during the tests of life. For instance, “if it doesn’t break me it builds me”, this is a personal philosophy that holds you when you are faced with difficulties. It makes you look at challenges from a positive stance.
- Seek support
You are not alone on this planet. And there is a reason for the existence of fellow human beings. You have a family. You have colleagues. You have a pastor. You have a community leader. You have friends. Don’t allow yourself to drown in the sea of your tests whereas you can seek support from people who care. Open your mouth. Speak to someone.
You can pass the tests of life. You just need to acknowledge that there are tests in life-for a reason. You need to develop a working and positive personal philosophy. And finally, do not suffer alone. There are people and organisations that can be of great assistance to you.
